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| Jacob McDonald, left, and his brother, Narragansett Regional High School football player Thomas McDonald, are being raised by Karla and Todd Basso. (T&G STAFF/RICK CINCLAIR) |
BALDWINVILLE — When he sits down to Thanksgiving dinner, Narragansett Regional senior football player Tom McDonald will have a lot to be thankful for.
And yet when you look at his story, it is a tale of heartbreak and sadness that no teenager should ever have to go through.
McDonald, a split end on offense and defensive back when the other team has the ball, went through a terrible ordeal when he was 11 years old — losing both parents within a 12-week period in 2008.
"Here is a kid who could have a reason, every single day, for being late to school, not come to school, miss practice, but never. He never misses," Narragansett coach John Beary said. "He's always ready to go, prepared, paying attention. He's made a choice not to make excuses and to have a positive attitude in everything he does."
It's been that way for McDonald for as long as he has been a three-sport athlete, dating back to his days at Narragansett Middle School.
"If anyone would have a reason to act out, he would, and he doesn't," said Bob Roache, who was McDonald's middle school football coach and is still an assistant with the varsity team, which will travel to Winchendon to face Murdock High on Thanksgiving morning.
"He's one of the most enjoyable kids I've ever coached. Always has a smile on his face, always positive," Roache continued. "A lot of the time he has the weight of the world on his shoulders, but he's just a great, steady kid."
In January of 2008, McDonald's 49-year old father Alan was felled by a fatal heart attack while snowshoeing in the woods behind their Royalston Road home in Baldwinville.
Then, in March of that same year, his 43-year old mother Lori was stricken ill and died suddenly of complications following a cancer treatment.
At the time, the tragedies left 11-year-old Tom, as well as his two older siblings, Michael (16) and Alannah (13), and younger brother Jacob (10), orphans.
"It was an incredible shock," Tom said, looking back on those dark days. "We weren't sure what was going to happen, who would take care of us and if we would be separated and sent away to different homes."
Enter Todd and Karla Basso, who lived in nearby Royalston. Todd was a first cousin to Alan McDonald.
"They stepped in and took us in so that we wouldn't be separated and our family wouldn't be split up," said Tom, who admitted, "I really didn't know them very well at the time."
Karla Basso noted, while she knew her husband's cousin, she was not familiar with his children at all.
"We had gone to the funeral after their father died, and Todd came over to see Lori and told her that if she needed anything he would help her," Karla said. "Then when she died we talked about it and we didn't want to see the family split up."
"So we took all four of them to make sure they stayed together," she continued. "They had just lost both of their parents; we didn't want them to be taken from each other."
The Basso's youngest son, Cotey, had just left for college, while their older two sons, Cory and Ryan, were living on their own.
In a few short months they went from empty nest to full house.
"They really didn't know me very well at all, but we just all clicked and it turned out great," Karla said. "At first it was a little awkward, but it didn't take long and we all got along real well. They had been through a lot."
Tom McDonald added, "If they didn't step up for us, Mike would have been somewhere else, Jake would have been somewhere else. We wouldn't have known each other or stayed together."
Karla does not regret the decision she and Todd made and count themselves blessed that all four kids have turned out so well.
"They're all real good kids," she said, "and I always wanted a daughter, so having Alannah has been wonderful."
Alannah, 19, is now a student at Mount Wachusett Community College, while 23-year old Michael works for FedEx and lives in Rhode Island and Jake is a junior at Monty Tech.
The eldest Basso sons, Cory (34) and Ryan (30), are married with two children of their own, while Cotey (26) was recently married.
They will all likely be together for the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays where both families come together for a large celebration.
"The holidays do get quite busy," said Karla with a smile. "But we crowd everybody in and we all try to be together."
Thanksgiving will also mark the end of Tom's football career, but he has the basketball and baseball seasons to look forward to.
"All my sports have helped, because when I wanted to just get away I could focus on football and basketball and baseball," Tom said. "It helped to get me away from a lot of things."
Tom hopes to attend college next year and one day would like to have a job in the athletic field, perhaps even becoming a coach.
"I like helping people, so maybe a coaching job would allow me to help people," he said.
Tom's high school coaches have marveled at his upbeat and positive attitude, despite the setbacks he has had in his life.
"I will have kids who sometime complain and I always say, 'Go spend five minutes with Tom and find out what he's gone through,' " Roache said. "This kid always makes good decisions; he's just a nice young man."
Tom also thinks his story may open the eyes of his friends and other teenagers.
"I hear a lot of my friends who sometimes may get upset with their parents and fight with them," he said. "I just feel like saying, 'You don't know what you've got until it's gone.' "
Contact Mike Richard at mikerichard0725@gmail.com
This reminds me so much of what Gladys did when she and Eddie Atter helped the Petrie kids through the loss of their parents. The Petrie kids were young when they lost their mother. I do not think the youngest was out of grammar school, the oldest was John and then their sister was a few years younger than John. Their father was a meat cutter at Atter's Supermarket and their mother was Gladys's cousin. When their father died tragically of a heart attack, Gladys and Eddie stepped up to become the people who would guide the way for these three kids. In short they had a person come into the home to take care of them, but it was not working. Johnny and his sister came to Gladys and Eddie and asked if they could go it alone, with their supervision. John swore that he would watch over the girls, and after giving it thought and a huge leap of faith, Gladys and Eddie said ok. Do you know it did work, and Johnny waited to see that his sisters were grown and settled before he would marry his wonderful wife, Mary Ellen. This is a huge credit to the Petrie family, like McDonald kids, the Basso family took under their wing. So it is time to give thanks to having good friends, past and present, something you never loose. Bev.
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